Why are you an athiest?

Some choose, others are never raised with religion. Here's my story.
Why I chose atheism.*
I was 14-15. I was over depressed. Everything that could be going wrong was. My personal life was down the shitter, my grades were steadily declining, and the only person I cared for in my life, my girlfriend, who knew my position, broke up with me. The night before, I knew it would happen, so I turned to god(I believed in him at the time) and pleaded into the night that he'd let me have this one happiness. That I could find one thing to wake up for. But what happened? She left me. Every day for a month, I actually hoped that on the walk home from school, I'd get run over by a car. I hoped I would die. I cut my arms (I'm a musician I need my tendons) to feel the one thing that kept me rooted in sanity. Pain. You see, my life sucks. The only childhood memories I have are of funerals and injury and pain. Not a happy thing that is not accompanied immediately by anguish. Friends, moved away. Family, passed on. And every time something happened, I prayed to god , asking for strength and happiness. I was the angriest, most dismal child one had ever seen. And through my prayers, I gained jack shit. Pain was all I knew, and it was the only thing that ever stayed constant. *Things kept getting worse for years. Until 8th grade. *My body wouldn't tolerate food, so i couldn't eat, and my body was destroying itself for sustenance. I decided enough was enough. I prayed and prayed for the pain to stop, but it just got worse *At the end of the school year, I was going to end it. Then my ex came along. Long story short; she was my savior. Not god. Not Jesus. Her. And for those who would say god brought us together, let me remind you, she left me when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. On the day of her surgery. And so I snapped. I thought, multiple times, of killing myself, never finding the courage to go through with it. What friends I had left after my ex turned them on me noticed I was off and told the counselor. * After psycho therapy and counseling sessions, I regained my sanity. Only to lose it again when my ex said we could be friends. I foolishly accepted. After a few weeks, she turned on me again. I went back to therapy. I began to question the existence of god. I concluded that for a crapload of reasons, including the problem of evil, multiple theoretical paradoxes, and many more, that all religions were created by man to answer the unknown. And as science improved, more and more of the unknown became known. A perfect example is the Greek gods. Zeus was the god of thunder. He was used to explain lightning. They didnt know it was caused by particles and imbalances. They didnt know what particles were. but once science figured it out, he was obsolete, and so died all faith in him (save for a few cultists.) the only reason Christianity has lasted so long is because it came at a time when many things were already known and has found a way to miraculously survive dire blows to it's foundations. The earth not being the center of the universe for example. The church killed anyone who said it wasn't (fun fact the catholic church has been responsible for more murders and deaths than nearly anything else in history *crusades, 19th century Europe, Etc.*) Until they managed to bend their words to the point where it was irrelevant. they have managed to do the same with multiple other things. Today, however, I find that they are running out of bending room. I hear more and more illogical answers to questions, such as "shut up." "I'm done talking about this." "how can you question god?" and so on. No one can put up a logical argument and keep it up without resorting to a what I call a "base." a base is a phrase using god as an example, such as "because god made it that way." and other variants I need not go into detail about. Christianity is fading, Just as polytheism has. Religion has an ebb and flow. Within the next few centuries, I can almost completely guarantee that Christianity, along with many other religions of today, will have but a few fanatical followers left. I am an atheist because I'm ok with saying "I don't know" to some questions. I don't need to credit it to a man in the sky. I can't believe such a being exists after what I've been through and what I've examined. Am i an awful horrible heathen because I don't believe in god? No. I didnt choose atheism so I could "sin." I don't go around killing babies and dragging people to the christain hell, so I'd appreciate it if Christians would stop treating me like I do. This goes for all athiests as well. We aren't evil, stop treating us like you're better than us. You people are some of the most intolerant racist hypocritical beings I've ever seen (and that's what you accuse us of being). We have done you no wrong. *Accept us for who we are. Be who you claim to be. Por favor, aceptanos.*
Now you know my story. What's yours?

Oh I forgot to mention my ex was an extremely religious Christian. Might've influencede me a bit

That's quite a story, Rymanjan. I'm glad you're seeing clearly now. Welcome aboard.

Rymanjan,

great story.
My Father was a bit of a religious nutz, and my Mom was an undeclared(and undisclosed) atheist.
As a kid no one could understand why I thought all the bible stories were just more kids tales to scare and amuse.
I always thought the idea of an invisible man who watched everything was silly and again just something to keep kids in bed.
Religious schools just made it sound even dumber, at 12 I think they were beat(even though they did try to beat it into me).
I never thought about it for decades until while visiting my dying Mom, she gave me a copy of "God Is Not Great". In the Vancouver(Canada) airport
a few days after they tasered a fellow to death because he could not speak english, I was waiting for my flight home reading this book when a policeman came up and asked me to put away the "porn" smut. I was real confused and I showed him all I had, he looked confused and wandered across the waiting room and spoke to an old bitty who looked really excited. Anyway the police came back and explained my book was her problem and to keep the peace could I just put away for a while.
Instead of telling him to fuck off and read the book anyway, I put it away, weakly waved at the old bag and on that trip home became an atheist activist.