Booming Cottage Industry for Atheists: Post-Rapture Services

Attachment 238Written by Penguin.

First, there was the Post-Rapture Post, a service that would let "Rapture-ready" Christians send letters and postcards to their sinful loved ones experiencing the Tribulation. Believers were assured that their letters would be delivered as promised because the enterprise was run by atheists, so customers could rest easy knowing that the people they were counting on to deliver their heavenly messages wouldn't be snatched up into the clouds along with them.

Now, the Globe and Mail reports that Bart Centre, another enterprising atheist, has created a new twist on the idea: pet rescue. For the low, one-time price of $110 US, Bart and his network of faithless pet rescuers at Eternal Earthbound Pets will retrieve your dog or cat from your home post-Rapture and make sure that Fido or Fluffy is cared for after you and all the other true believers are gone.

Bad news, though: if you're hoping for a job with Eternal Earthbound Pets, you're probably out of luck. Mr. Centre has been inundated with emails from atheists inquiring about jobs as pet rescuers. However, if recent trends are any indication, there are countless other opportunities for creative people to provide services that the "Rapture-ready" set will find valuable and that atheists are uniquely positioned to deliver.